Use correction of Kids to Challenge Their Hearts

When citizen need to convert their ways, God uses the term "repentance" to narrate the process. Using words like repentance and sin too often in revising with kids may create an unbalanced view of God and his safe bet plan for life. Either you use the term repentance or not, however, it's good to understand what God has to say about it.

The word "repent" plainly means to convert one's mind and in its various forms is used 75 times in the Bible. From these verses we learn that there are six separate parts to repentance and they all have practical implications for parenting.

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The first step in repentance, for example, is to conclude down, stop fighting, and be willing to work on the problem. Jeremiah 8:6 says that an unrepentant man is like a horse charging into battle. You can visualize the nostrils flared and the steam coming out of the horse's mouth. That photograph could unmistakably resemble some children when they're corrected. The clarification is that they need to conclude down.

Use correction of Kids to Challenge Their Hearts

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Unfortunately, some parents continue on with the revising while the child is still upset. It would be best to require that the child go into the other room or the hall and conclude down before lasting the revising process. Parents who take advantage of this first step in repentance slow down the process and decrease the intensity, and thus see more vital convert in their kids.

The other steps in repentance contain to admit that you've done something wrong, otherwise known as confession (1 Kings 8:47), respond there must be a best way (Matthew 3:8-10), and commit to doing the right thing (Jeremiah 34:14). Two other steps of repentance involve more emotion. They're feeling sorrow for doing the wrong thing (Jeremiah 31:19), and having a desire to do what's right (Romans 7:14-15). These last two steps involve emotions and desires and are the extreme goal in the convert process. However, just because you don't see the remorse or a desire to do what's right shouldn't stop you from pursuing the goal. Some children need revising over a long duration of time in order to make the changes vital to their thinking.

In order to work through the elements of repentance when correcting a child, it's often helpful to have a conversation at the end of the discipline time. We call this debriefing a safe bet closing and it reviews the offense, discusses why it was wrong, and helps children institute a plan for next time. After all, repentance involves confession. Parents who plainly give a consequence and hope that kids are making the connection to their poor thinking, are often disappointed by the slow process of change. In a debriefing after an offense it's helpful for children to admit their part of the problem. Articulating what went wrong is an foremost step toward change. Sometimes children don't believe they've done anything wrong. Or they believe that the other man started it, justifying their response. Of course, when children believe that they've been treated unfairly, they're still responsible for their own response. A sarcastic respond or a returned punch can't be excused because the other man instigated.

One dad reported success with his son this way, "I used to have a justice mentality. You did this so you deserve this. I even had a list of consequences on the refrigerator for various offenses. I'd give the consequences but I rarely saw vital change. It wasn't until I started implementing these steps of repentance that we unmistakably began to see convert in our son."

After correction, other steps like restitution, reconciliation, or an apology are often helpful for restoring relationship. To avoid having children say I'm sorry while not feeling it in their heart, we encourage children to say, "I was wrong for... Will you forgive me?" This statement doesn't require an emotion but is an act of the will. A child should be able to take responsibility for an offense Either it is provoked or not. Of policy if the child truly feels sorrow for the offense then "I'm sorry" can be a helpful way to begin reconciliation.

Be rigorous about disciplining only one child when two kids are fighting. Both are normally at fault in some way. Trying to form out who started it rarely leads to peace. Victims are often instigators. Teach children how to respond to offenses, and when they make a mistake, teach them how to admit it and ask for forgiveness.

God the Father and Jesus used a safe bet closing in their discipline. Adam and Eve sinned and although God imposed the consequence of leaving the garden, he took time with them and made clothes out of animal skins and gave them a hope for the future. After the resurrection Jesus met with Peter and asked him three times, "Do you love me?" Peter needed a safe bet closing after his three-episode denial of Christ. After Peter responded yes, Jesus affirmed Peter's ongoing time to come with words such as "Feed my sheep" and "Tend my lambs." When David sinned with Bathsheba the consequence was that the baby died. Shortly thereafter Bathsheba got pregnant again and the same prophet came to David and said of the new baby, "Name him Jedidiah," which means "loved of the Lord." Our kids need to hear the same message after an offense that God gave to Adam and Eve and David and that Jesus gave to Peter, "We've dealt with it. Let's move forward. We have work to do." That safe bet focus to discipline helps children taste relaxation in their consciences, a much needed gift after an offense.

A theology of repentance is a considerable way of seeing at revising of children, resulting in deeper, more vital change. Kids need to adjust more than their behavior. They also need to convert their hearts. If you embrace these few suggestions kids are forced through a process. You can't force a convert of heart, but you can teach kids a way to think about what they've done wrong and take them through predictable steps so they'll know what healthy convert looks like.

God is the expert at changing the heart and we must look to him for advice in this delicate area. Praying normally for soft hearts on the part of children can go a long way to help them be responsive to correction.

Use correction of Kids to Challenge Their Hearts

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